Whether or Not Attached

February. Love month. The spirit of affection and togetherness is all around the corner. The scent of flowers, the luscious taste of chocolates, and the sweet exchanges of “I love Yous”. Those are the beautiful things that I encounter in romantic novels, movies, and in my wildest dreams, but never in real life. Or should I say, in “my” life. Merely because I had never been out on a date in my life, because I had never been in a relationship in my life. In my 18 years of walking the earth, I concede that I never had a boyfriend--since birth. Yeah, you read that right. I'm a no-boyfriend-since-birth girl or as some calls it, “NBSB”. I'm aware to the fact that I'm not a bona fide head-turner and I don't possess a stunning beauty. But I must say that I have a presentable appearance and I'm happy with what I see in the mirror.

Just like a typical girl, I have/had a couple of crushes and honest to goodness there were (if not are) a couple of boys that had been besotted to me. I don't know what's wrong with me but this is always the scenario: 1) The guy that I like doesn't likes me back or 2) The guy who's into me is someone that I don't give a damn at all. To sum it up, I'd never experienced to be loved by someone I love. Oh, poor me :c. Some of my friends say that I should be a little bit more aggressive by giving hint to the guy that I like that I actually have feelings for him. The sad thing is, I can't do that. I admit, there are times that I do flirt around but I'm not an all out flirt like the other pathetic girls a.k.a. harlots out there. I'm the type of girl who just freezes in an instant when seeing the boy of her dreams, worse, I even try to avoid the guy as much as I can. I'm a certified coward, am I not? And for those boys whose into me, they say that I should be kinder to them by at least letting them formally court me. Another sad thing is, I don't believe in courting at all. If it so happen that I like you and you like me, then good, we will end up together. But if it's the other way around, then I'm sorry, because you will never get any single thing from me.

If you're going to ask me how I feel about my situation, I would say that I'm fine, but I'll be a liar if I'll say that I'm "absolutely glad" about it. Of course as a human being I genuinely love the feeling of attraction works its way through me, and meeting the subject of my fantasies that kept me happily occupied is indeed a very magnificent moment that I should anticipate about. But here's the thing. I am okay without it. Simply because, being in a relationship is NOT MY FIRST PRIORITY especially this day and age. There's totally a whole bunch of things that I should worry more about than finding that significant other that I could kiss and cuddle. I know that I and girls in general shouldn't blindly step into a relationship just for the sake of being into one. Girls, we should be careful in every action that we will take because surely, we don't want to end up with an imbecile. As Angelique Agustin puts it, “Life is too short to spend it with a wrong person”. I know that I shouldn't be in a hurry because I'm still young and I should just cherish the moment. There's a certainty within me that at the right time, at the right place, my prince will come. He may not be a knight in shining armor but he will come. Just learn to wait and everything will fall into place. Remember, “Patience is a virtue”, and that virtue will take all the love sick out there (like me) into places. :>