March 04, 2011

The Other Side of Loneliness

It's my Tita's 70th birthday and my cousins have a surprise birthday celebration for her. My dad asked me if I want to go. I didn't accept the invitation because I'm not really into parties. I'm the type who, in a free day, will just stay at home and read a book, watch TV, listen to music, or whatnot. Meanwhile, he also asked my brother if he wants to go and I really encouraged him to go to the party because I want to be alone at home, and gladly, he accepted the invitation. Whooopppyyy!!! Moments like this are the best! I want to be with myself!

But I bet, a great number of the population doesn't share the same sentiments that I have. Not to exaggerate, but 99.9% of the people that I know always find the need to be with somebody. For instance, a lot of girls can't go to the wash room alone, they always have to be accompanied by a friend. And there's a question that runs in my head: Bakit hindi mo ba kayang umihi ng mag-isa? I have a friend who once asked me, "Samahan mo naman akong kumuha ng tubig" and I refused because I find it so irrational, it will only take 10 steps more or less before she can reach the water jag and with that fact, she still thinks that she needs to be with somebody? What the F!


I can go to the cafeteria alone. I can eat alone. I can go to the wash room alone. I can watch a movie alone. I can shop alone. I can go home alone. I can be home alone... I can go on forever. But don't take me wrong, I have friends and I honestly love to be around them, and of course, I also have a family that I dearly love. But there are instances that I really like to do on my own. For instance, I'm fond of watching movies alone. When I told my seeing a movie alone to a friend of mine, she was surprised because she can't imagine herself doing the exact same thing. Another one is, I like to commute alone. Really, I feel uncomfortable if a classmate/someone I know accompany me on my way to school, or on my way back home, or whatever place that might be, especially if we're not really that close. Oh, how much I hate the assuming topics and the awkward silence that comes after it. I want solitude during the ride, listening to music, and not giving a care in the world. And most of all, I like being alone at home. It's so peaceful, so serene, no distractions, no noise. In truth, I have a plan that when I'm already earning my own money, I'll first buy a pad for myself and I'll be away from everybody else.

It's so nice to be alone. When you're alone, you get to know yourself better, you get to think more freely, you're imagination gets wild. You get to meditate, to study your thoughts, the things you've done, your plans for the future, and the like. Truth be told, that aside from the morning (around 6-9, because I get to listen to Good Times with Mo: my ever favorite radio show) my favorite time of the day is midnight. The time when the lights are already off, my dad and brother are already asleep, and I'm already lying in my bed, completely on my own, daydreaming before dreaming... I love that.

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