Paranoia

Pakiramdam ko pinagtaksilan niya ako kaya nagalit ako sa kanya. Nagalit din ako sa sarili ko dahil alam ko na wala akong karapatang magalit sa kanya. Ngayon ay nagagalit ako sa katotohanan na wala akong karapatang magalit.

Of Delusions and Daydreams

You’re not in love. But you want to be in love. So you make yourself believe that you’re in love. In the room of your imagination, you created a creature that looks like him. Little did you know, by doing so, you are killing the little connection that you have with the boy. You lost your contact with reality and made things complicated. You do the things you think are right yet you feel unmistakably wrong then it dawned on you. You’re not in love with the boy and you will never be. Because he doesn’t exist and he will never exist. Your mind just made a fool out of you. You were trying to hold on to a flicker of hope that turned out as a wisp of smoke. Then at the end of the day, you find yourself at the bottom of the barrel, feeling nothing but sorry for the broken you.

SAP

You know the feeling. You know that you don't have the right to be jealous. You know that you don't have the right to be upset. You know that they're just doing the natural thing that couples do. But you can't help but feel the familiar mixture of shame and anger and sadness. Because you know... that he is owned by somebody else, and not by the pathetic you.