Amanda Coling: Victim or Vixen?

Amanda Coling

Earlier this month we were all baffled by this Amanda Coling who was allegedly raped by 4 Azkals members with the names of Simon Greatwich, Neil Etheridge, Jason Sabio, and Anton Del Rosario. This issue according to Amanda was started from a forwarded email from Paul Wyler (a German consultant of Philippine Football Federation) that was forwarded to Aaron Lozado (an Internet blogger) that became a blind item and later on a real issue.

When Pia Guanio interviewed Amanda in Showbiz Central, Pia asked her questions but she didn't make any clear response. There was a lot of verbal noise and pauses between sentences. There's even one question that Pia had to repeat because Amanda wasn't able to process it in the first time. She sounded wasted like she was in drugs, include the fact that she was speaking in a fake American accent. I can forgive her if she was applying her Native-English accent in English language, but she was applying the accent in Filipino language and that's totally annoying and unforgivable, especially that she's a pure Filipina who grew up here in the Philippines. When Ali Sotto asked her--also in an interview--why her Tagalog is so twang, she said, "Nehihirepen thilege ekeng meg-Thigeleg kese neg-work eke se call center (silent "t") before". Nagtrabaho lang sa call center nakalimutan ng mag-Tagalog? Gago. And she was saying that she doesn't want to comment to anything without the consent of her lawyer. If that's the case, then why did she agree to be interviewed live on TV if she knows that she can't state anything without legal assistance? She was also saying a lot of abstract nonsense, like her message for the Azkals, "Galingan 'nyo, sana marami pa kayong maiuwing karangalan for the country", was she playing martyr or it was just the effect of lack of iodized salt? (Taga-UP pa naman...). Obviously, Pia wanted a message from her for the Azkals REGARDING THE ISSUE. Also from her interview with Ali Sotto in GMA News TV Channel 11, Ali asked her what kind of woman she is, Amanda said she's "a woman of faith" <crickets>. She also asked Amanda about her reaction to the hate messages about her, Amanda says, "Ang hate, nangangahulugan lang 'yan na kulang kayo sa pag-ibig". Seriously. Does she thinks she's able to gain our sympathy with all her innocent nonsense?

She was saying that she wants her family's safety, yet she was the one who willingly let her mother talked about their life at their own residence, and she was precisely the one who mentioned the existence of her child (yes, she's a single mom) which was fairly irrelevant. She wants peace and safety of her family eh?

She said that she's not using this issue to gain popularity, but when Ali Sotto asked her what she thinks about the positive effect of her current "predicament", she said she can see it as a stepping stone, "If God gave you lemons make lemon juice. Better yet, make millions out of those lemons!" exclaims Amanda. Oh well, I don't have to explain this whole analogy to you, do I?

When the scandal about Katrina Halili and Hayden Kho was still the talk of the town two years ago, I can honestly say that I was on the side of Katrina. I was on her side because I can feel the genuineness of her statement. Her actions supported her talks. She cut her hair, she didn't wear makeup, she wore sunglasses, and most importantly, she got convincing tears in her eyes. Katrina walked the talk, unlike Amanda with her prepped-up look. Amanda was even very furious when she's been pulled out from the line of models that ramped for this year's FHM 100 party. What kind of girl would like to show-off her body after such controversy? If I were her, I will not even have the bile to  step outside my house.

For my parting words, I have a message for you Miss Amanda Coling if ever you'll get a chance to read this blog of mine (I highly doubt that). First of all, I want you to know that I sincerely feel bad for you because the Azkals are already losing the limelight, and you're not going to make a good use of their name anymore. Second of all, if there's a certainty in the innermost part of you that peace is truly what your whole being's craving for, and you don't want to confirm or deny anything, because you don't want to lie or hurt other people's feelings (yaddi yaddi yadda.... as if you're fooling someone), then don't be in a freaking interview on freaking national TV for crying out loud. Lastly, you better just lock yourself in your room and play with your own itchy thing you miserable WHORE.

Forgotten Pieces

July 25, 2011 is indeed one of the remarkable events in the Philippine society. Yesterday, our very own President Benigno "Noynoy" Aquino Jr. had his second State of the Nation Address. And as a responsible citizen of the Philippines, I fumbled to stay awake even though I was so tipsy (not because of alcohol) during that time (that's supposed to be my nap time, that's why) because I gingerly want to witness the SONA of PNoy. I gazed at our conky television at home very intently. I looked at PNoy, listen to every single word of his, and even took down notes. I gave my full attention to his speech because I want to come up with something decent to write about. But instead of gaining information, I took 180 degrees and turned the other way! The more I watch, the more I'm getting stupefied. I heard all his words but my mind's ears had been deaf that I can't make any sense of anything.

But there's one thing that I realized though, that there are some things we cannot learn overnight no matter how much we rack our brains. Truly, an hour of his speech is nothing compare to a year of his term. I can't make sense of PNoy's address because I didn't look, I didn't listen, and I didn't pay attention to the actual things that happened over a year of PNoy's presidency. I guess there are a lot of issues that have been going on in my late teenage life that I forgot to look at the bigger picture. I felt like I was an engineering graduate taking up a nursing board exam. It's like even if I'll burn all the midnight candles for several months of review, I'll just likely fail the exam because surely, months of review is nothing compare to years of education.

I think I already lost her. The sixteen-year-old girl, who was so driven by her passionate love for the Filipino nation; who's very vigilant whenever there's a heated debate in class; who cried when her family didn't let her take up political science, paralegal studies, or legal psychology in college. My old self... I want her back. I don't want to be a lawyer anymore but I don't want the nationalistic part of me to be utterly lost. I hope it's not too late to retrieve that piece of me.

Skeletons In My Closet

This is the continuation of my previous entry. I only put it here now not because I just had this dream recently, but because I just got a time to write just today. There are a lot of things that happened in between. A lot of non-romantic heartbreaks and realizations. Here it goes:

Basically, it was I confessing my feelings to my friend. He was insanely surprised to know that I actually have feelings for him because he never thought that such thing was possible. Overtook by disbelief, he asked me if I was telling the truth, and I said "Yes". After that he tells me, "If I only knew, I would choose you." But the story didn't end there. Did you know what else he did? He broke up with his girlfriend and decided to be with me, and I was in real shock that my friend had become my boyfriend. In the final scene, there was us, holding hands while looking at each other with smiles in our faces.

Analysis:

Honest to goodness but I was not happy with that dream. I was glad that he picked me over the other woman but aside from that, I felt... nothing. I admit, I had a crush on him but that was before. Truth is, I'm so over him. I just can't accept the thought that he's with somebody else.

Mulling about it, I realized that I felt irritated with our situation not because I love him, but because I love myself too much. I don't want to let go of him albeit I don't have feelings for him because I'm selfish.

Myself reminds me of Katniss Everdeen, the heroine in the epic book series, The Hunger Games Trilogy by Suzanne Collins. Everyone thought that Katniss is an altruist and a warrior. But deep inside her, she knows that she's just an ordinary 16-year-old girl, very frail, very impotent. Here's an excerpt from the second book of The Hunger Games Trilogy: Catching Fire. In here, Katniss is mourning beside her best friend Gale because he has been whipped by the Head Peacekeeper in their district due to illegal hunting and has been put in the intersection of life and death. Here it is:

For the first time, I reverse our situation in my head. I imagine watching Gale volunteering to save Rory in the reaping, having him torn from my life, becoming some strange girl's lover to stay alive, and then coming home with her. Living next to her. Promising to marry her.

The hatred I feel for him, for the phantom girl, for everything is so real and immediate that it chokes me. Gale is mine. I am his. Everything else is unthinkable. Why did it take him being whipped within an inch of his life to see it?

Because I'm selfish. I'm a coward. I'm the kind of girl who, when she might actually be of use, would run to stay alive and leave those who couldn't follow to suffer and die.

SPOILER ALERT!

In the end of the story, it turned out that Katniss didn't end up with Gale. It turned out that she chose to be with Peeta (her on-screen lover) instead of Gale. And when she said that she "reverse their situation," it means that all the things that she was ranting about were the exact things she did towards Gale.

When it dawned on her that she might lose Gale, she turned to him and gave him false hope. When she was finally self-satisfied about her position in Gale's life, she again broke his heart and left him behind. Apparently, when she so-called "realized" that she wants to be with Gale, she was just again being selfish. Katniss likes putting people in a precarious balance. In a cliffhanger that cripples the people who love her.

I am so in love with the story of Hunger Games but I abhor the main character. Katniss is so hostile, so violent, so cold. I admire her power and dexterity but I can't force myself to like her. She's the kind of person that you would love to hate, and I kid you not if I'll say that I can see myself in her.

I hate to admit, but looking myself in the mirror, I can conclude that I'm a narcissist. Now I know why I often prefer to be alone. Now I know why I'm fine not having someone there who loves me. It's because I have so much love for myself. So much that it suffocates me. So much that it blinds me. But if I'll look at myself in a telescope, I'm sure that I'll detest Lizzy. I'll hate her for being selfish, arrogant, heartless, a coward, and a negative bitch. It dawns on me that whenever I encounter a bump, I immediately do an escape without even thinking the possible consequences of my actions. That I cry even in the littlest things, that I'm always looking at the ugly side of people, that I've been living a stinking life. No wonder I had next to no friends, because like Katniss, I'm the kind of girl that you would love to hate.