Forgotten Pieces

July 25, 2011 is indeed one of the remarkable events in the Philippine society. Yesterday, our very own President Benigno "Noynoy" Aquino Jr. had his second State of the Nation Address. And as a responsible citizen of the Philippines, I fumbled to stay awake even though I was so tipsy (not because of alcohol) during that time (that's supposed to be my nap time, that's why) because I gingerly want to witness the SONA of PNoy. I gazed at our conky television at home very intently. I looked at PNoy, listen to every single word of his, and even took down notes. I gave my full attention to his speech because I want to come up with something decent to write about. But instead of gaining information, I took 180 degrees and turned the other way! The more I watch, the more I'm getting stupefied. I heard all his words but my mind's ears had been deaf that I can't make any sense of anything.

But there's one thing that I realized though, that there are some things we cannot learn overnight no matter how much we rack our brains. Truly, an hour of his speech is nothing compare to a year of his term. I can't make sense of PNoy's address because I didn't look, I didn't listen, and I didn't pay attention to the actual things that happened over a year of PNoy's presidency. I guess there are a lot of issues that have been going on in my late teenage life that I forgot to look at the bigger picture. I felt like I was an engineering graduate taking up a nursing board exam. It's like even if I'll burn all the midnight candles for several months of review, I'll just likely fail the exam because surely, months of review is nothing compare to years of education.

I think I already lost her. The sixteen-year-old girl, who was so driven by her passionate love for the Filipino nation; who's very vigilant whenever there's a heated debate in class; who cried when her family didn't let her take up political science, paralegal studies, or legal psychology in college. My old self... I want her back. I don't want to be a lawyer anymore but I don't want the nationalistic part of me to be utterly lost. I hope it's not too late to retrieve that piece of me.