Deemed Doomed

TRUTH # 1:

Being jealous and hating you crush's girl is understandable.

Go ahead, roll your eyes, but I still stand my ground that I have the right to be jealous and irritated with the girl that's with the guy that I have an eye on. I have the right to feel this way because my emotions are mine. If I feel happy, I can't help but smile; if I feel pissed, I can't help but curse at least under my breath; if I feel gloomy, I can't help but let the sadness be written all over my face.

I strongly believe that feelings should be expressed. Now, I don't mean that I should walk my way and kick the girl's ass or anything like that. What I mean by this is, we should express what we feel even through small things so we wouldn't end up being deranged. Some people channel their emotions by immersing themselves in their works, others do it by way of painting or other artistic means. I, do it by the way of writing. That's why I always have a journal at hand, and that's why I blog. I use writing as an outlet to my angst, excitement, giddiness, anything that I feel like venting out.

To put it simply, I conclude that feeling what we feel, whether good or bad, is not a crime. But we should master the art of control so we won't end up hurting anyone, including ourselves.

TRUTH # 2:

It takes time for me to fall in love, and it also takes time for me to fall out of it.

I'm proud to say that I'm not the kind of girl who drools over handsome fellows. Physical appearance is still a factor but not the most important. He should have the character, the wit, and the heart, if the boy wants to win me over. And although let's say that he got what it takes for me to be magnetized by him, it will still take time before it happens. Estimated Time: 6 months to 1 year or more. And there should be a real interaction between us. Seeing him everyday without communication is not enough.

But once I fell, it'll also take time, even days, months, years and years... before I get into my feet again. Albeit I'll not get to talk to him, or to even see him; he'll remain in my mind, in my heart and soul no matter what he does, no matter what I do. And once I'm certain I like a guy, my heart will be occupied, as in I'll never have any other eye candies but him. Yeah, I'm loyal like that. By that you'll know that I rarely fall for someone, as in RARE. For eighteen years of living, I can easily count the boys that I had crushes on using my fingers (celebrity crushes are already included, take note).

Sure, time will reduce the attraction and lessen the tingling sensation, but I know that he will always, always have a place in my heart, and I will always, always be attracted to him even someone new comes along. I'm deemed doomed.